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HardHatAli
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Name: Ali
State: Indiana
Metro: Lafayette
Gender: Female
Interests: God, Campus Crusade for Christ, engineering, camping, backpacking, music, swing dancing, guitar, reading, construction, coffee, playing the clarinet, randomness, girls nights, little babies =P, friends!, worship, cycling, taking pictures, concerts, college
Expertise: I'm a civil engineering student at Purdue University
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message me
AIM:  hardhatali11
Member Since:
11/17/2004
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| why is it that a good love story always makes you cry?
this is an unfinished thought, but I wanted to remember it. I wanted to remember the feeling after having heard an amazing love story. one where she is pursued every day of her life. one where he would do anything to win her heart. one that is real with arguements and anger. but one that never dies.
i've been finding myself so caught up in the little details in life. the small bumps in the road,the imperfections and hardships. i want to remember the big pictures in life. most of all love. there are more important things, eternal things. i want my heart set on those.
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| ok, so I'm totally excited about going to Univeristy of Minnesota. I had it at the top of my list for grad school but hadn't really looked into it too much. Well, tonight I decided to find out all about the school. I'm really excited to go visit because it seems like a perfect fit so far.
Just an update, Abe and I have finally finished our grad school applications. We probably won't hear anything until March about acceptance or invitations to go visit. We applied to Berkeley, Michigan, Minnesota, and Purdue. I'm excited to see what God has planned ahead.
 ~Ali
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| so...yea, things have been ok. I was sick for like 5-6 weeks. I saw 7 doctors in that time...took 5 different medications. Unfortunately I didn't realize that the medicine was altering my emotions. So basically I was depressed for like 4 weeks. It was horrible, I felt so inadequate, everything seemed to make me cry. I took really long naps and didn't want to talk to anyone. I felt worthless and all of a sudden I didn't know what to do with my life. I was planning on going to grad school and getting my PhD and hopefully in the long run get married. But then it felt like my life was falling apart I wasn't motivated about what I was doing. I gave up on a lot of stuff. I didn't really want to do research anymore, but I definately didn't want to work. However, I didn't feel I was good enough to even get into grad school anymore.
Anyway, I'm not taking drugs anymore and I'm finally well again. However, still depressed about some stuff. Basically I've lost all of my friends. I'm not entirely sure why. They just forget about me all the time. I was ok with it at first because I was doing other things, I'd try calling them and seeing what they were up to but that didn't really work. I kind of gave up though. I just happened to keep hearing and seeing pictures of all the stuff everyone was doing. I guess they got tired of having to call me. So yea, Ruthie and I have become really good friends. She's honsetly probably the best girl friend I've had. So that's really good.
So should I really rant about CRU on here? I dunno. Basically I'm not in cru anymore. If you really desire to know more perhpas you'll talk to me.
So anyway, I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. This has been the lightest work load I've ever had. I hardly ever have homework, but for some reason my exam scores aren't as good as they should be. On the last two exams I got back I thought I was gonna get an A and I definately didn't. Which is weird, because most of the time when you do pourly you know you did pourly. So this concerns me. I dunno what to do. The only person I've really talked about my grades with is Abe, and of course he encourages me and tries to make me feel better. But I guess beacuse he's the only one that is doing that I feel like it doesn't count. If someone else randomly commented to me about it or even purposefully said something to me, I'd feel better. Oh well, one day I'll have that support group...maybe.
Anyway, I doubt anyone reads this anymore anyway. But I felt like I hadn't posted in a while and a lot has happened.
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| So yesterday I realized something huge. I've been unhappy the last week and a half and I couldn't figure out why. Then when I woke up and I was doing more normal morning internet surf I realized what it was. I MISSED MY GIRL FRIENDS. I finally realized how important they really are in my life (that wasn't meant to sound bad, but it's something I needed to learn). This is the first time in my life that I've had absolutely no female friends around. I have all of my guy friends here. Every one of them from Abe, to Josh, to Nik. But I don't have a single girl friend.
I miss going to the coffee shop, making tie dye shirts, watching chick flicks, eatting a whole bag of tostitos, talking for hours about nothing and everything...the list could go on. In high school I never thought much about my friends. They were there, I had fun and enjoyed their company. But we had band together so I saw them all the time. Ever since college I've had to choose to see my friends, and I haven't. I've gotten so up tight over the last three years, it's gotten pretty scary. I really hope I can break this streak.
Next semester I will only have 13 credit hours, and all the girls will be in Earhart again. I think I plan on "living" in Earhart. I really want to change, so if you girls are reading this HELP ME change. How amazing would it be to finally grow close to girls. That's something I've never done, probably because I've always feared girls. But I really do miss them! I love you guys, so much and miss you even more. I hope everyone is having an awesome summer. I know that God is doing amazing things in everyone's life and we're all gonna come back a little bit changed and ready to grow together.
here's to missing you!
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| Romans 8:26-27
26And the Holy Spirit
helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray
for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with
groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27And
the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for
the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. this brought me peace so I thought I'd share it.
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